No comment has yet been issued from the Kennedy Compound, located at 34A Tinkers Lane, Hyannis Massachusetts on the latest developments but those close to the family say that the mood inside the Kennedy family is grim, and that only their strong religious convictions are holding them together, said a spokesman for the Clan, Mr. Reg L. Chivas. The accident in which a rubber duck became wedged between Mrs Kennedys breasts at a congratulatory dinner for the new Boston Cardinal. Guests and onlookers were agape as Ted Kennedy, along with a bunch of nephews and nieces, chased his wife around the dinner table with tongs from the hearth shouting duck hunt, duck hunt. Or words to that effect.

Neither side were issuing any comment today following last nights breakdown in the latest talks. Sources close to the discussions have said that there is still some hope for some common ground to be reach, but that the timetable of either side may vary. 

When a major religious figure who wishes to remain thoughtless suggested that they all tell each other the truth, caste off their differences, and resolve to live side by side in peace, he was promptly grabbed my negotiators from both sides, dragged outside, shot, stabbed, hanged from a street sign and then asked to voluntarily withdraw the statements made at the peace summit. 

New initiatives were still stalled in the House last night as representatives realized that they were elected under the current rules themselves, and what were they thinking.

Charles Jordan Bowditt the Third, along with his wife Fanny, was arrested on charges that he imbezzled charity funds to the tune of some $50 million from the International Milk The Children Fund.  Commented Bowditt, " I would never do such a thing and neither would any of my family. The charges are without foundation." When asked how he explained his ability to buy three Caribean Island with five star hotels on each on his salary, he claimed that his wife worked nights  giving Amway demonstrations and he himself had a part time job as a maitre d' at a local restaurant. The board of directors of  Milk the Children issued a statement that they had no idea how this could have occured. They claimed they had made a condition of employment for Mr Bowditt that they had agreed to entrust all of the donations collected directly to him, and he was to take care of everything, as part of his job. 

The French  Prime Minister Yyves Montroublminde said yesterday that all though she had made it absolutely clear what their position was, that it had been completely misunderstood by the rest of the worlds governments. She stated that the perception in the United Nations that they had given unequivocal approval could be construed as an accurate indication of the French position, only in the negative. Refering to the number soixante-neuf, she reminded the world press of the French perception of normality, and pronounced that this should be applied to various statements that France may or not make in the future. She said the France was resolutely behind her on this some or all of the way, both now and in the future.